We have three (yes, I said 3) large dogs. We also have a doggie door. 3 large dogs + doggie door = constant mess. I have zero control over what they do out there and have equally little control over what happens when they come inside. Normal human beings (except my husband) wipe their feet or take off their shoes before traipsing around someone’s house. Pets (and my husband) cannot grasp that concept.
Because of this, I'm constantly steam-cleaning my floors. I love my nifty steamer, but it's not hand-held. The one thing I can't seem to manage well are the couches. And yes, the couches belong to the dogs as much as...wait, I take that back- MORE than they belong to us.
From previous experience, my 15+ year old washing machine kills couch cushion covers. Even in cold water. So, being the ever-intelligent female I am, I start devising a plan to wash these covers without having to use the machine which will inevitably ruin them and royally tick off my hubby (the one who picked out this awful furniture to start with, but that's a story for another day).
I haul the covers outside to my outside laundry line. Which, by the way, I NEVER use. I mean really, who likes crunchy clothes?!?! Luckily there are 12 clothespins already on the line from whoever lived here before us. Score!
I locate two buckets. And the Tide. And the hose. With the turbo-jet sprayer attachment thingamajig. I'm all set for my little project! I proceed to hang up the first cover. As I begin to spray it with the turbo jet setting, it flies off the line and plops onto the ground. Ok, apparently 3 clothespins is not enough. Unfortunately for me, my dearest husband decided to mow the lawn that morning. Now my wet couch cushion cover is covered in grass and who knows what else. Yippie. 5 clothespins later, I'm realizing this is going to be a long process. Spray with hose, shove it in the bucket, swish it around, try not to look at how nastydirty the water is, rinse in the other bucket, hang back on line, hose the ever-loving crap out of it some more, dump the buckets and refill them, and move to the next cover. Since I need 5 clothespins to hold up 1 cover, it means I'm limited to doing this process very slowly.
In the meantime, my dear sweet husband chooses to come up behind me and say (ever-so-helpfully) "Hey! You look like a little old lady doing laundry from 1800! Want me to get you a rock to beat them on?" To which I may have responded sweetly, "I'm pretty sure they used wooden bats and clubs to help beat the laundry too". He got the hint (I'm pretty sure the lack of a smile gave it away), and luckily for him, said "Oh, they look really good though!" and went quickly back to his yard work.
Paybacks, buddy...paybacks. And thank goodness for the Industrial Revolution, for without it there may have been a lot more beaten husbands.
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