I expected to have fertility problems. I have crappy cystic ovaries, I'm overweight, and I haven't taken the best care of myself over the years. I expected it, prepared the best I could for it. While you might never truly make yourself "ok" with an infertility diagnosis, you deal with it the best you can and remain hopeful that you'll be blessed despite your body's faults. That your overwhelming drive and desire to be a parent will triumph over the hurdles you face.
Today I received a call with news that all of my pondering, all of my worry and concern over my own fertility wasn't prepared to handle. My husband is the one who is being referred to a fertility specialist. Not me... Him. How did that happen?
When you spend so much energy and focus on your own issues and you have to refocus on a new hurdle, it's overwhelming. Not to mention the emotional baggage which comes along with it. No man wants to be told they are less than perfect. It is a blow to the ego of even the least self-conscious guy.
So while my own fertility is still in question, we need to refocus. Spend some time and energy on him. I guess perhaps I'm a bit thankful in this instance for my own struggles, if it at all helps me provide emotional support to him.
So, onward we go. Uncharted territory for both of us.
I'm so sorry for the problems you have gone through over this past little while.
ReplyDeleteI remember when my husband had his SA done. When it came back you could just see the relief on his face. He even did a little jig. He then realize what that meant to me. I think hearing you're the problem, regardless of who it is. It's a huge blow to who you are as a person. In truth it's stripped away a bit of my womenhood to be faced with the finger pointed at me.
i'm glad that you are supporting your husband during this. He will really really need your support and love while possibly battling his own deamons of being the reason why you both are having fertility problems.
I hope that with the fertility specialist you're both able to get answers and more importantly a quick fix to the problem.
All the best of luck hun!
I agree with what Amanda said. I haven't been diagnosed with anything yet (besides having a blocked left tube and tilted uterus), my thyroid is normal, along with other minor tests they have done. And when we got my husband's SA, and it was normal (OB actually said he was better than normal in most categories), it was a huge relief to him, and a huge blow to me... It sucks... But don't give up <3
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